A tiny thread was pulled and I began to unravel. I slowly spun until I dwindled. What was left of me clung tight, but to a false power. Anger makes you feel invincible. Angry as a tiger and can tear your flesh apart with a ferocious roar. But when I stopped roaring I realized i'm a shell of a person.
Anger is flesh eating.
I don't self care anymore.
I have lost control and an inferno resulted and i'm sitting in the ashes and the damage is irreparable.
There is a fleck of light I'm nursing right now. If I can carefully tend to this fleck, have it grow into a glowing ember, start rising from the ashes, maybe I can start connecting some dots and begin moving forward. But in the present, I am living with the results of a head-on collision. I will be a shell of a person until I can stand up again. I hope I can stand up again.
I do the best I can, honey. I know it's not enough, and I'm sorry. But that's what you get in life, you know? You get whoever you end up with. Whoever is willing to stick by you, and fight for you, when everyone else is gone. And it ain't always who you expect. But you just have to make do. ---Boys on the Side, 1995