Friday, October 29, 2010

Happy Birthday, Dear Claire

My baby is three. 3. One two three. I can't believe it. It seems like I had her yesterday and it seems like she's been here forever. She's not a little fuzzy ball anymore. She's a true little girl...that both delights me and breaks my heart. I wish she'd slow down just a little...Mommy wants to keep her little as long as she can.

Claire is wild. Claire is uninhibited. Claire is obstinate. She's hard for a lot of people to control. Because of that I think she's a misunderstood little girl. I know I misunderstand her enough. She does frustrate me on a fairly regular basis. But I realized I confused her stubbornness for deliberate misbehavior, and that's not who my Claire is.

Claire has three baby dolls she often cares for. She is the best little Mommy I've ever seen. She lovingly rocks her babies, places them on pillows, covers them with blankets, she whispers to them in words I can't hear, but they're words of love and reassurance. She smiles at me from across the room. She walks over to me without a word, with both hands she brushes the bangs from my face, leans over, and kisses me on the forehead.

She worries when she thinks I have a "boo-boo." She finds band-aids and puts them on me in an attempt to make me feel better. She shares the apples I cut for her...hands me one, eats one, hands me one, eats one. She loves babies and likes to pat their heads. She loves to laugh from her belly and she makes the funniest faces I've ever seen...mean angry face to big cheesy grin.

Some days I really don't think I'm a great mom, or even a good mom. Some days I don't even know if I want to be a mom to be honest. But as soon as I walk through her door and see her sleeping in her bed, I know with every fiber of my being that Claire was meant to be here, and it's a blessing that she's mine.

I love my beautiful little girl, and this day will always be a day of celebration and thanks. Happy Birthday, sweet Claire.

1 comment:

namoo said...

You are a great mom, Kara. Most moms I know, including myself, often wonders if we are meant to be moms. I feel I make a ton of mistakes and feel nervous sometimes I am just ruining this pure innocent soul by being a bad mom! You are not alone. And yet, you are the one of the best!!!

Happy Birthday Claire!!!