
Monday, January 19, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Delicacies
It would be so chic if I loved small plates. Or mesclun. Or curried something. But I don't. I love white trash food. Undying, unwavering lust.
Please bring me Manwich.

Will work for meatloaf.

Color me happy with mac and cheese mixed with canned tuna.

Butter me up some potato rolls.

Light up my world with Hamburger Helper.

Deliver me from evil and deliver me thy Papa John's BBQ chicken and bacon pizza

I'd love to be one who stops along the Champs-Élysées to devour some coq a vin while breezing through the pages of Les Guérillères.

But you'll find me huddled under my comforter on my plaid couch, watching The Ghost Whisperer and eating Ritz crackers with EZ Cheese.

I am who I am, and who I am is...the white trash palate.
Please bring me Manwich.

Will work for meatloaf.

Color me happy with mac and cheese mixed with canned tuna.

Butter me up some potato rolls.

Light up my world with Hamburger Helper.

Deliver me from evil and deliver me thy Papa John's BBQ chicken and bacon pizza

I'd love to be one who stops along the Champs-Élysées to devour some coq a vin while breezing through the pages of Les Guérillères.

But you'll find me huddled under my comforter on my plaid couch, watching The Ghost Whisperer and eating Ritz crackers with EZ Cheese.

I am who I am, and who I am is...the white trash palate.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Because it's true
I'd like to think I'm whimsical and unique and share things that people don't mind reading. But there's a truth inside that isn't very readable. It probably makes whoever is reading uncomfortable. It makes me question whether I should make this blog private. I don't know.
Anyway, the loneliness and hopelessness are so true and strong that they're palpable. I look at the future and it's absolutely blank. I hear/read people relaying their weekends. Casual get-togethers to watch the game, trips away, just having dinner at home together. It tears at my heart now like it never has. I see kids in pictures standing beside the fireplaces in their home. My heart breaks. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like all that I was to become is what I am now. There will never be a house. There will never be someone to be a family with.
I spend most days with a lump in my throat, tears on the brink of cresting. I'll put the smile on just so I don't drive everyone away, just so people don't think i'm losing it. I take care of Claire because she deserves more than anything to be happy, and I dread the day when she's old enough to realize what she doesn't have.
I'll resent him forever for this. I shouldn't but I will. And I will always wonder why God picked him to be in my life plan and to be that precious baby's father. I guess there's a reason for it, but I just can't figure it out.
I must get back to work now. If you want to roll your eyes at this or have your opinion on how I can make it better, of course it's your prerogative. But please keep it to yourself, because today, this is simply my truth.
Anyway, the loneliness and hopelessness are so true and strong that they're palpable. I look at the future and it's absolutely blank. I hear/read people relaying their weekends. Casual get-togethers to watch the game, trips away, just having dinner at home together. It tears at my heart now like it never has. I see kids in pictures standing beside the fireplaces in their home. My heart breaks. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like all that I was to become is what I am now. There will never be a house. There will never be someone to be a family with.
I spend most days with a lump in my throat, tears on the brink of cresting. I'll put the smile on just so I don't drive everyone away, just so people don't think i'm losing it. I take care of Claire because she deserves more than anything to be happy, and I dread the day when she's old enough to realize what she doesn't have.
I'll resent him forever for this. I shouldn't but I will. And I will always wonder why God picked him to be in my life plan and to be that precious baby's father. I guess there's a reason for it, but I just can't figure it out.
I must get back to work now. If you want to roll your eyes at this or have your opinion on how I can make it better, of course it's your prerogative. But please keep it to yourself, because today, this is simply my truth.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Another one of these...
...for the bored and lazy.
YOU CAN ONLY ANSWER EACH QUESTION WITH ONE WORD. GOOD LUCK!
1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? nonexistent
3. Your hair? blah
4. Your mother? janice
5. Your father? jay
6. Your favorite thing? claire
7. Your dream last night? forgotten
8. Your favorite drink? juice
9. Your dream/goal? homeowner
10. The room you're in? office
11. Your fear? loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? thin
15. Muffins? delicious
16. One of your wish list items? pendant

17. Where you grew up? pennsylvania
18. The last thing you did? coughed
19. What are you wearing? clothes
20. Your favorite TV show? House
21. Your pet? none
23. Your life? unexpected
24. Your mood? blah
25. Missing someone? Meh.
26. Your car/truck? garage
27. Something you're not wearing? earrings
28. Favorite Store? Target
29. Your summer? sad
30. Your favorite color? green
31. When is the last time you laughed? today
32. Last time you cried? recently
THREE PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER: work, daycare, home
THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS: pasta, cheese, bread
PLACE I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW: bed
YOU CAN ONLY ANSWER EACH QUESTION WITH ONE WORD. GOOD LUCK!
1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? nonexistent
3. Your hair? blah
4. Your mother? janice
5. Your father? jay
6. Your favorite thing? claire
7. Your dream last night? forgotten
8. Your favorite drink? juice
9. Your dream/goal? homeowner
10. The room you're in? office
11. Your fear? loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? thin
15. Muffins? delicious
16. One of your wish list items? pendant

17. Where you grew up? pennsylvania
18. The last thing you did? coughed
19. What are you wearing? clothes
20. Your favorite TV show? House
21. Your pet? none
23. Your life? unexpected
24. Your mood? blah
25. Missing someone? Meh.
26. Your car/truck? garage
27. Something you're not wearing? earrings
28. Favorite Store? Target
29. Your summer? sad
30. Your favorite color? green
31. When is the last time you laughed? today
32. Last time you cried? recently
THREE PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER: work, daycare, home
THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS: pasta, cheese, bread
PLACE I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW: bed
Crabapple

Yep, I'm a total buzz kill, I know, but I CANNOT STAND THE INCESSANT WHISTLING AND SINGING I HAVE TO LISTEN TO EVERY WORK DAY FROM THE MAIL ROOM GUY! Everyone loves him and greets him enthusiastically. I don't even turn around to look at him. Why would someone think everyone in the entire vicinity wants to hear them singing? I'm so glad you're happy, sir, but could you please "spread the joy" somewhere else?
I'm done.
Monday, January 5, 2009
About Me...Welcome to 2009
I have been MIA for soooooooooo long, I know. I spent ten days in PA over Christmas, and Claire and I were sick for the new year...oh fun. I'm not motivated enough to write a full blog, so I'm stealing this from Jessica's...stay tuned for more fun and adventures in 2009!
A is for age: 35. I can't believe it, but yes, I'm that old.
B is for burger of choice: medium well with provolone and lots and lots of ketchup
C is for the car I drive: Helene the Honda Accord...love my girl
D is for your dog's name: no doggie right now :-( Used to be Katie, Kirby, and Khloe the weiner dogs and then Riley my weiner dog. I miss them all.
E is for essential item you use every day: Computer
F is for favorite TV show at the moment: House, M.D. Have watched it since its premiere
G is for favorite game: Making fun of people at lunch with Mark. Oh wait, that's not really a game...
H is for home state: Pennsylvania
I is for instruments you play: Nada
J is for favorite juice: Nantucket Nectars Mango Orange
K is for whose bum you'd like to kick: Where do I begin?
L is for last restaurant at which you ate: McDonald's, sadly enough. Stopped on my way to my brother's on Saturday.
M is for your favorite muppet: Rowlf
N is for number of piercings: Nada
O is for overnight hospital stays: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you must be joking. Like a bazillion.
P is for people you were with today: Claire and all my coworkers who shall remain nameless. Except for Rose.
Q is for what you do with your quiet time: surf the internet, read, watch movies
R is for biggest regret: not doing it all the right way. enough said.
S is for status: single and not looking
T is for time you woke up today: 7:34
U is for what you consider unique about yourself: I have a good eye for a lot of things
V is for vegetable you love: Peas
W is for worst habit: Denial
X is for x-rays you've had: HAHAHAHAHAHA, again, like a bazillion
Y is for yummy food you ate today: yummy? Nothing much was all that yummy. The blueberry yogurt wasn't bad, since I didn't read the label to know there were 27 grams of sugar in it. Yeesh.
Z is for zodiac: Gemini. Are you surprised?
A is for age: 35. I can't believe it, but yes, I'm that old.
B is for burger of choice: medium well with provolone and lots and lots of ketchup
C is for the car I drive: Helene the Honda Accord...love my girl
D is for your dog's name: no doggie right now :-( Used to be Katie, Kirby, and Khloe the weiner dogs and then Riley my weiner dog. I miss them all.
E is for essential item you use every day: Computer
F is for favorite TV show at the moment: House, M.D. Have watched it since its premiere
G is for favorite game: Making fun of people at lunch with Mark. Oh wait, that's not really a game...
H is for home state: Pennsylvania
I is for instruments you play: Nada
J is for favorite juice: Nantucket Nectars Mango Orange
K is for whose bum you'd like to kick: Where do I begin?
L is for last restaurant at which you ate: McDonald's, sadly enough. Stopped on my way to my brother's on Saturday.
M is for your favorite muppet: Rowlf
N is for number of piercings: Nada
O is for overnight hospital stays: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you must be joking. Like a bazillion.
P is for people you were with today: Claire and all my coworkers who shall remain nameless. Except for Rose.
Q is for what you do with your quiet time: surf the internet, read, watch movies
R is for biggest regret: not doing it all the right way. enough said.
S is for status: single and not looking
T is for time you woke up today: 7:34
U is for what you consider unique about yourself: I have a good eye for a lot of things
V is for vegetable you love: Peas
W is for worst habit: Denial
X is for x-rays you've had: HAHAHAHAHAHA, again, like a bazillion
Y is for yummy food you ate today: yummy? Nothing much was all that yummy. The blueberry yogurt wasn't bad, since I didn't read the label to know there were 27 grams of sugar in it. Yeesh.
Z is for zodiac: Gemini. Are you surprised?
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