Friday, March 20, 2009

Klingon

Houston, we have reached the planet Clingy.

The Fuzz is going through a very clingy phase right now. She wants to be picked up constantly. She is in a constant state of raised arms. She whines and cries if I am not holding her (or if she is not sitting on my lap) every minute I'm with her.

I'm conflicted. Do I pick her up every time she wants me to because I want her to feel safe, loved, and secure? Or do I not because I want her to learn independence? I'm trying to do somewhere in between, but her pitiful little cries twist my heart. And I'm starting to step on her because she's totally underfoot.

Did someone write a book on this? Ha, for every new situation I think I need a manual.

I had a lot of ideas on how I wanted to raise my child. I still believe in most of it, but the problem I hadn't thought of is the when. When do I implement these things? Rose and I were talking about the whole time out thing, the putting the toys away stuff. Right now, Fuzzy would totally think time outs were a game. I know my child inside and out, and if I kept carrying her back to the naughty seat or whatever, she'd think that was great, thus totally defeating the purpose. So right now my behavior modification technique is simply diversion. If she is getting into something she shouldn't or doing something she shouldn't, I turn her around, hand her something appropriate, etc. That seems to work fairly well.



I also really wasn't paying attention to things like putting toys away. We'd play, I'd put Claire to bed, and then I'd pick everything up after she was sleeping. Never gave it another thought. But recently I thought, crap, maybe this is the time when I should be teaching her to help put her stuff away. So the other evening after we read books, I said OK, time to put our books away. Some of her books sit on the top of her toy box..there's a nice little shelf there perfect for them that she can reach.

So I'd put one away, then hand her one. She eventually caught on and I'd clap and praise her endlessly when she did. She got sick of that quick though. I had to keep steering her back toward the books. I stuck with it. That's the name of the game I think; I have to be totally consistent. Being totally consistent is harder than I thought, because it takes patience and time. You all know how patient I am, right? ;-) (Hush, Rose!)

I guess I just need to relax, try to use my best judgment, maybe ask how other people have done it, and yes...I NEED A BOOK!! HA!

2 comments:

LoveLladro said...

I think I left the hospital too early... I didn't get my handbook!

iskim9 said...

I need a book just to calm myself down but don't think I do anything by the book. "somewhere in between", trust in my own mommy judegement will be the best answer, I think, but why is it so hard? :-(