Saturday, March 14, 2009

Out of Style

I am living in the wrong age. I think I should have been an adult living more in my mom's time. Why? Well, as always, there's a list. Oh, and as always, a disclaimer...I'm an honest person, and some of these things may not go over well w/people. But that doesn't mean I'm going to hide behind a facade. So with no further ado...

I am not into:

1. Green living
2. Attachment parenting
3. High-tech gadgets
4. Herbal remedies
5. Labor unions
6. Hybrids
7. Yoga
8. Blu-Ray
9. Bluetooth
10. Texting
11. Feng shui
12. Staycations
13. Meditation
14. Homeschooling
15. Wal-Mart
16. Soy anything (except in my chai lattes, because it just makes it taste better)
17. Tanning...real, fake, or anything in between
18. Oprah's Book Club
19. Laser eye surgery
20. Reality TV

My true self? She likes:

1. Just living...if it happens to be green by default, fine
2. I don't think I should call it detachment parenting..I should just call it sleep in the crib and sit in your bouncy chair parenting I suppose
3. The use what already works until they screw you. An example, had to get the DVD player because they stopped selling VHS. Will use DVDs and CDs until they force me to "upgrade" (using that word loosely) to mp3s and whatever other overpriced crap they come up with
4. Drugs. Good old-fashioned drugs! Advil. Antibiotics. Pain killers. Bring them on. They work. Screw echinacea and licorice root.
5. An honest day's work with no entitlement. No strikes because they won't pay me $73an hour. Do your job and shut up. If you don't like it, someone else I'm sure would be happy to take your job. Gone are the days of "The Jungle."
6. My Honda. It uses gas. It probably screws the environment. Sorry, I love her.
7. Not really into the exercise of the moment. Go back to the 80s. It was aerobics. Not trendy. I think I'm good with just taking a walk.
8. Blu-Ray sort of goes with the point I made in number 3.
9. Bluetooth. Get the stupid thing off your ear. I could write a multitude of blogs about cell phones in general. People survived without them. Now every moron in the grocery store is attached to one.
10. If every moron in the grocery store doesn't have the phone attached to his/her ear, then he/she is staring at it, glazed, jamming away at the keys. I hate texting. It has made us lazy with our language as well. OMG. R U serious? LMAO. ROTFL. LOL. C u later.
11. I put my furniture where it fits. I put the pillows and decorations where the hell I want.
12. A vacation is going away from the place I am everyday. I don't need Disneyworld. But I do need out of Baltimore County, or at the very least Owings Mills.
13. I'd rather sleep. You can call it very deep meditation if you prefer.
14. Did you get straight As in every class? Did you go to school within a year of each of these subjects such as chemistry, calculus, and Spanish/French? Then you're not going to be able to teach your kids these classes as well as a trained teacher. Argue with me. Fine. I still won't believe you. And of course there's the social interaction and learning to be accountable that you don't get w/homeschooling. Next.
15. Wal-Mart is hell. Next.
16. Soy is not a miracle cure. Do some research.
17. Tanning goes along with smoking. Hi, I'm vain, so I'm going to elect to fry myself into cancer. I didn't ask for cancer. Why would someone else?
18. I like to pick my own books. Oprah is not the end all. Next.
19. I hate wearing contacts/glasses. But I don't want someone screwing w/my eyes. I know someone who already had to have a "touch up." You can touch up my car, my hair. You do not touch up my eyes.
20. Human dysfunction at its best, shown over national TV. I want to escape for a not show me the morons I want to escape from.

I say how I feel. And that's how I feel this Saturday afternoon. Cheers.


LoveLladro said...

Too black and white for me ;~) Can't even begin to comment on all the gray ;~)

Anonymous said...

I often think of living in the wrong age too myself. Sometimes I ended up thinking that we have too much. There is nothing to fight for. So we create something to worry about....