Saturday, February 28, 2009

Follow-up

Wow. wow. I enthusiastically read the article that I included in my previous blog post on working mothers. I also got SLAMMED by stay-at-home mothers when I made a comment on the actual blog. SLAMMED. Many woman yelling that they were insulted by the article (and the article did NOT insult stay-at-home mothers; it merely presented research gathered that stated kids in childcare fared just as well as kids who stay home). People saying left and right that the child can't possibly gain more by being in childcare than by being at home w/their mothers. Every comment but mine was either in direct argument to what I said or a new thread about how the article was crap and stay-at-home mothers are the far better choice.

This is a very touchy subject w/me, as a lot of my friends are stay-at-home mothers. But I never wanted to be one, sorry. My dream from a little girl was not a family. It was a corner office. Claire came into the picture and she most certainly became more important than corner office, but I felt no need to give up my career. I worked for 16 straight years to achieve the level of education needed to enter the workforce and perform a job that I'm both good at and love. I'm a good writer. I love my company. In my mind, I did not put forth that many years of dedicated study to just stop and stay at home. Claire, who will be an only child, is in a place that her father and I bust our butts to afford because if she is going to be in someone else's care for 40 plus hours, it had to be the best. And it is.

A lot of moms say, but doesn't it make you sad that you don't experience her milestones first? Nope. Just so she's reaching her milestones...that's what I care about. Daycare saw her stand on her own first. But when I saw it, it was like the first time, and I will never, ever forget that moment. I saw her walk first. Do I care that it's not me teaching her songs or letters? Nope. Just so she's learning them. And when she brings me book after book (after book after bloody book...yeesh), I know something is going right. Remember when Hillary said it takes a village? Well, I've got the village, and we're doing a good job.

Being a working mom these days doesn't seem to be the most popular choice. I feel like the queen of unpopular choices. "What, you aren't breastfeeding?????" What, you aren't co-sleeping???????" "What, you're putting her into daycare???????"

It gets old. My mother has worked since I've been 6 years old (not by choice..she truly wanted to be a stay-at-home mom). I was NOT neglected, I NEVER lacked for time or emotional support, and I was and am very proud of my mom. There is no one I'd rather spend time with or talk to. So I beg to differ w/these women.

There's my rant. For anyone who hasn't met Claire, she's the happy girl who loves to climb, loves to read, loves her mom, and is thriving because of..not in spite of..my choices.

1 comment:

iskim9 said...

It is nothing like being right or wrong. We all try to do our best raising our kid(s). I didn't think the article offended stay-at-home moms in any way. They just like to judge people. It bothers me. Ugh